comic fantasy part I

So last night I was reading this book on comic fantasy and I have decided to jot down what I have noticed in parts. Today we cover princesses, princes and evil guys.
1) if you are a princess and feel like taking a stroll in the forest near a dragons lair make sure you wear colourful clothes(dragons tend to think that women in outfits that are not colourful = FOOD!)
2) Not all fairytale princesses are beautiful just as all knights in shining armor are not brave (besides anyone who has a shining armor could never have been in a fight his entire life.)
3) If a prince is interested more in his looks than the flirty princess chances are he’s gay (besides isn’t it a little weird that all theses stories are so hell bent on proving the prince to be oh so masculine. I believe they have something to hide.)
4) If one of your eyes are green and the other one is red chances are your mom and a dragon had a little thing going on at the side (perhaps she was a princess who’s kingdom fell apart after she was taken away by a dragon while strolling in the forest in plain clothes and eventually fell in love with the dragon who was so loooonnneeelllly! sigh!)
5) If you are the evil guy make sure you don’t :
a) make a really long statement before you kill the hero
b) ask the hero what his last wish is
c) think the hero’s girlfriend has a thing for you because she is so sweet to you all of a sudden(chances are she has a dagger in one hand behind her back just in case the poison in your wine doesn’t work)
d) think you are indestructible (always good to have a backup plan)
e) only depend on sorcery ( remember that magicians have their bad days too)
f) Ignore information about every secret passage way in your castle. (Its really pitiful when the hero sneaks up behind your throne just because you didn’t know that there was a door behind you chair that led to the main road.)
g) Just have the colour black in your wardrobe (it too clichéd .don’t punish your self just because you are evil.. give colours a chance.)
6) If you turn out to have breast and are dressed in a leather outfit with a weapon of
some sort hanging at your side chances are that you are the hero of the story.
(This means you have a lot of work to do.)
7) If the princess is staggeringly beautiful and wants to get married in the afternoon even though she just met you that morning (and this is if the king seems too keen on the decision) I suggest you propose a live in relationship for at least a month. ( something tells me that she might be one of those ‘people’ who turn into trolls in the nights or a werewolf on every full moon.. if you are lucky she just turn out to be a nymphomaniac of some sort. good for you then ) .
Well with that I end part one .tomorrow we tackle witches and the likes… tune in then!! Ciao for now. Would love the feed back if I have forgotten to add something